day to day…

I promised a few weeks ago to tell a bit of what we are doing in South Sudan, and also to share what Nonviolent Peaceforce does. Well I meant for this post to come a bit sooner, but K and I have been under the weather a bit. We both have a better understanding of the “Juba Welcome” that most foreigners experience once they settle into life in the city. To be totally honest I did not feel welcomed, it wasmore like there was something very unwelcomed, which had taken up residence in my body. We spent several hours at the local clinic one Sunday night trying to figure out what exactly K had that was causing so much sickness. It was pretty rough, I have not ever seen him quite so sick and felt quite so helpless. After three IVs and a shot in the rump he was a bit better and I took him back to sleep it off. The next morning in the shower K found the Band-Aid on his cheek and asked me where it came from. I chuckled, and told him about the shot. He did not remember half of our clinic visit; probably for the best. I on the other hand remember everything a little too clearly. 

 

We are now on the up and up and I am super glad to be on this side of things. Juba, we are officially welcomed… thank you?

 

Let me start by telling you what Nonviolent Peaceforce (NP) does in South Sudan. We are an organization that works within the Protection Sector of the Emergency and Relief work in South Sudan. You probably heard somewhere that things are rather unstable in South Sudan.  It is true. South Sudan became a country in July of 2009 and has had an up hill battle to establish a government structure and peace. This process takes a long time and is incredibly complicated and often violent. (Watch out here comes a rant) I would love those who say that the US government needs to be reformed and we need a revolution to see what is happening in South Sudan. In a revolution many innocent civilian get caught in the crossfire and become causalities. It is horrible to know how innocent people suffer during this process. Let me clarify that I am not against reformation, and making things better but I would love that the term revolution not be thrown around without knowing the cost. The cost are innocent women and children, who are separated during raids, who have lost their livelihoods because it is not safe for them to work in the fields by themselves, who are raped and those who are murdered. It is an extremely high cost and not one that should be taken lightly. NP works with these civilians, the one whom the risk is so very high providing protection and advocates for stability in these communities. We have programs that provide protective accompaniment, which means that international staff walk or drive with vulnerable individuals to get them to a safe place. We develop local community protection groups to empower each community to protect themselves. We do child protection, which involves family tracing and reuniting children with their families after raids . We do trainings on Gender Based Violence (GBV) to educate communities, men and women on these topics and the services that are provided for them in their community. I have only hit a few of the highlights of our programming, but if you would like more information take a look at our website. We are non-partisan actors in the protection sector; we are here for the vulnerable civilians who are caught in the middle of fighting parties.

 

Okay so on to what we do all day long. Honestly, I should not comment about what K does all day long because I do not know half of what he does. I do know that he is one of the hardest working members of the team, juggling all kinds of information and logistical things. His official title is Operations Manager, which means he over sees all the NP operations in South Sudan. And it is a lot. From tracking cars, to field supplies, to managing staff, to water and food supplies for all field sites. (We have 7 field sites currently, and a few more are in the works) He is a busy man. He is on duty 24/7 all the while putting new policies in place to make the day to dayactivities run smoother.

 

I work as a Programme Officer. (Yes, that is with two M’s) My job is to manage grants that fund our projects. I work closely with the donors that have a presence in Juba and report our activities. I did a bit of this last year and enjoyed it, so I was excited to join the Programming Office in Juba with NP. The first few weeks in Juba I have been reading all the project proposals and getting up to speed on the situation in South Sudan. It is complicated. Isn’t always. But now that I have a bit more understanding I have been involved in writing future project proposals and meeting donors and other actors here in Juba that we coordinate with and work alongside. I am still working to become confident of my role, but I love the challenge it presents and cannot image doing anything else… well there is a Ugandan Bakery job that looks pretty attractive. Who says you cannot have it all?

birthdays in Africa cont….

I started this story a few days ago, if you want to catch the beginning start here.

 

I placed both trays of cake batter on a metal sheet and then the head baker carefully set the tray in the opening of the oven. He took a long pole and pushed it back into the oven into “the spot”. It took him a moment or two to find it, but he seemed to be looking for this perfect spot in the oven to bake. He then covered the opening with another metal tray with some kind of contraption that I cannot begin to explain.

 

I then began waiting on the sidelines of the bakery, to just watch the bakery production. I was in heaven. After a few minutes of standing aganist the wall a plastic chair that was missing its back was brought in for me to sit on. I was really flattered but felt super silly that I was sitting doing nothing, while all the bakers were working so very hard in a very hot bakery. Just sitting in the bakery was enough to make sweat pour down my back. After a few minutes I asked if it was okay if I took a few pictures, and they agreed. I got a bit braver a few minutes later and asked if they would be willing to teach me how to make mendazi and to my great joy, they told me to come back any time and they would be happy to teach me. (there was a small discussion before they agreed about wether I was strong or not, but after I lifted a few trays full of dough I seemed to satisify their doubt) After 25 minutes I asked to take a look at the cake, and the baker brought out his long pole and carefully pulled out the tray with my two cakes on it. I was extremely happy to see that both cakes turned out beautifully. When I looked up from inspecting the cake I realized that everyone in the bakery was huddled around to see what I had asked to bake. A few asked what I called it, and I responded “chocolate cake”. It seemed that most had not heard of chocolate cake, but then they asked me if I could teach them how to make one. I am more than excited to swap skills with my bakery friends in the near future. How great would it be to get my first bakery experience in Juba?!

 

I told everyone at NP that we would be having cake and drinks around 8:30-9pm that evening and everyone gathered together to celebrate K’s birthday. We were also able to find some whipping cream for icing on the cake. After about a half hour of hand whipping the cream was ready to go on the cake. And the party began. K introduced everyone to a few episodes of Portlandia and a few of his favorite SNL sketches… he was in heaven. The cake turned out better than I had imagined and even K was impressed. By the end of the day I was exhausted, but so glad that K had a special day. A little creativity and adventure paid off in the end. Happy 30^th K, I am so happy that you decided to join me in the 30’s.

merry. merry. more adventures to come…

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year. K and I are excited to begin working with Nonviolent PeaceForce in South Sudan starting the middle of January. More adventures to come in 2013.

Love,

K & S

a year ago…

In the midst of transition I often find it encouraging to look back and reflect on my thoughts and feelings from the last few years. I have kept a journal on and off for most of my life because I find writing my thoughts down therapeutic. But I also really enjoy re-reading my thoughts years later and remembering what it felt like in that moment and learning. Today, I came across something I wrote while visiting some really great friends before we left for Kenya just over a year ago. Its a pretty raw and honest journal entry, so I’m nervous to post it, but I find it necessary to do things that scare me. Could be a sickness I have, but here goes,  my thoughts from August 25, 2011.

August 25, 2012  - I went for a walk tonight because I was feeling stir crazy. I get that feeling quite often and feel like I either need to go for a walk and pray or sit and read my Bible. I feel like I’m searching for calm in during this transition. I’ve talked about moving to Africa for years now. I dream about it and long to do something useful with my life. I want to know that my choices in life made a difference for someone. If I’m totally honest I would like to my life choices to make a large difference in a lot of people’s lives. When people hear what Kris and I are planning to do, I’m often met with comments like “wow that’s so great, you are going to do amazing things.” Or “You are so brave and selfless to go and give of your time.” I don’t know how to respond to most, do I agree with them? Yes, it is great that I’m going and I’m a saint for giving my time and talent to those who have nothing. That feels horrible and not what I feel in my heart at all. Some days I am so pumped to go that I can agree and not feel like I’m getting a pat on the back for my good deeds but be genuine about the work that I am going to be apart of. I can really get excited about clean water and basic health care. But then there are most days, like today where I feel fear and uncertainty and worry about the future and if I’ll feel the calm I’m looking for. This is why I walk. This is why I feel like I need to put one foot in front of the other, because I know that moving forward in the only way for me. Even if I’m scared and feel all the fears and pressures of moving from family and friends, and an independence that I’m really really fond of.

I walk to reconcile the urgency I feel to move across the world to a place I’ve never been, to people I don’t know and can’t speak their language to help in anyway I can. To reconcile the feeling of loss I have for the comforts, relationships, certainties, and stability I have here. All the things I have here make life so easy and comfortable, and boring and claustrophobic. Here, the culture is to settle down, buy houses, have children, buy and sell cars, get jobs, move up the ladder. As I write those things I feel sick inside.  But I have never wanted that. I have always felt there was more out there for me. So moving to Africa seems like the next step right? It’s not quite that easy to explain, but this next step in life has to be an adventure, it has to include the elements of life that I am truly passionate about. I need to feel like what I’m doing is for the bigger picture. And yet I’m walking tonight because I am afraid.

I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid that when we go to Kenya that I will discover that I’m not content doing development work, which is what I’ve gone to school for and focused the last 7 years of my life on doing. I’m afraid that I’ve pushed my husband to move across the world to a place where he will literally melt in the heat to do work that he may only be interested in because of me. I’m afraid for the strain that this move will put on my marriage. I’m afraid I won’t have anything to give to my husband after serving those who have nothing. I’m afraid of letting my passion for clean water and health care will dominate my life and my husband will feel second place in my heart. I’m afraid that he will be second place in my heart. I’m afraid of hurting him. I’m afraid of finding that this goal and passion is not what will be my life’s work and starting from square one again. I’m afraid of that feeling lost in life and not knowing what direction to head in. The fear in this transition is almost debilitating, and yet I can’t even imagine not going. I can’t even think about the “what ifs” of staying here. So I walk, one foot in front of the other. Moving closer and closer to stepping onto the plane that will take Kris and I to Kenya.
I feel lonely in this place. I’m lost in my thoughts about the future and my fears. I wrestle with the idea that I can’t give enough love. It seems silly once it’s written down but in my heart I feel like I could be the type of person that is not able to freely give love. I know that because I marvel and can’t seem to wrap my mind around the idea that God has so freely loved and keeps loving me, while truly knowing who I am and what I am capable of doing. It doesn’t make sense to me. And yet I want nothing more than to love like God loves. How does that happen? I long for that change in me. And my biggest fear is that I don’t have a large enough capacity to love those I am passionate to serve.

 

 

where to sleep at night…

So with the impending change of leaving our place in Zimbabwe, I’ve been dreaming of what the next place will be like. Of course in my head the next place could be the house below, not anything remarkable, but just good bones. A place that we can make our own and feel at home. And of course in my head its by the sea, because that is where my heart is.

 

 

I would love our next place to be a space where you can feel at home. A place you long to be in, even if no one else is there. A place where beds are hung from the ceiling and the water is always in view.

 

 

 

 

I would love if our new place had a forest close by and tall windows to look out and contemplate life. I’d love to have lots of books on the shelf so that people can browse at their leisure or can say “you know I always wanted to read this book” and will promptly sit down and open the cover.

I would love our next place to feel like you are both inside and outside at the same time. To have both warm rugs and cold wooden floors. To have clean white walls and textured brick walls. To be a place of quiet and loud conversation.

 

But for now our next place is just in my head. I will continue to think and dream about it while we continue to think and dream about the future and where our plans will take us. Perhaps I should prepare myself for something a bit more small and  mobile, but as long as there is personality, I’m okay.

 

cape town and other adventures….

K and I just got back from our second trip to Cape Town, South Africa on Friday. We had an amazing time with friends and seeing the sights. Our first trip to Cape Town was in February in the midst of their summer. It was so very warm and lovely, we both just fell in love with the city. This time our trip was in the middle of winter, yet we still found our hearts over joyed to be in torrential down pours and have to snuggle in bed at night to keep warm. I think its official that we love Cape Town regardless of the weather.

We stayed with a friend of mine who I met when I worked with Mercy Ships who is from Cape Town. It was so great to hangout and get to know her husband and two beautiful girls more. We had a wonderful time and felt so spoiled by their hospitality, seriously I got coffee delivered to my bedroom… it was pure heaven! They also took us to a really great market Saturday morning we we ate great food, drank great coffee and enjoyed looking at all the goods people were selling.

I swear in another life I am an artisan bread maker who sells bread at markets like this one. I just love the atmosphere and the people. The market is just teaming with creative people who are passionate about their crafts. Did I mention that I loved it, thank you Vanessa and family for taking us!

On the one beautiful day that was sandwiched between crazy storms K and I went up Table Mountain. The view from Table Mountain is breathtaking and has to be experienced first hand to know how amazing it truly is.

It was chilly and windy at the top of the mountain but not a cloud in the sky and one of those experiences I will alway remember.

Later in the week we drove out to wine country, which I’m sure you will be surprised to find that we loved. I feel like I’m just telling you I loved everything… but come on guys you have to believe me when I say its one of the most beautiful areas.

Each winery we went to we had to pick our jaws up off the ground and wipe the drool away. From the amazing valley views to the old dutch architecture to the most modern minimalist decor we were over come with its beauty.

And then of course there was wine… does anyone else need more convincing that you need to visit?

Well we are back in Zimbabwe and ready to take on the next month and a half. I will be working on a well project. I’m hoping to rehabilitate 10-15 wells in some pretty rural places and K continues to manage our fleet of trucks, procure supplies and all kinds of HR tasks as well. He does so much its hard to keep it all straight. We are anticipating the next month and a half to be busy and fly by quickly.  So we will hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

new endings and beginnings…

The winds of change are blowing. (pretty awesome start to the blog post huh) But its true there is some major change for K and I in the next few months. As it turns out we will be ending our time in Zimbabwe at the end of September. The Zimbabwe team is having to down size due to lack of funding, so K and I are moving on to another adventure. What adventure you ask? Well you are in good company because we are asking that very same question. We aren’t quite done with our international living (sorry moms) so we will continue to pursue other jobs beyond the boarders of the US. K and I have loved living abroad and all the challenges that come with it. Some days are rough because I miss family, friends, and Target, but we both know that we are right where we are supposed to be. I’ll keep you posted as I know things, but for now we are living it up in Zimbabwe. And speaking of living it up, two weekends ago we went camping at Victoria Falls. I used the term camping loosely because we slept in beds, but the beds were in a tent, so it counts. The falls were absolutely amazing and well worth the trip. We went with our colleague who is an amazing photographer and she captured some really great ones of us. I promise we aren’t posing, we just really like each other.   We also went on a sunset river cruise on the Zambezi. K kept calling it the booze cruise, but it was really amazing. We gently cruised down the river and saw amazing wild life. The Hippos were my favorite. And then the next morning we got up and had coffee and this really beautiful hotel that is up on a hill over looking a waterhole in the bush. Elephants often wander through to get a drink. Well we didn’t see any elephants but we did have a special guest join us for coffee. Monkeys are totally unpredictable and often dangerously aggressive. So we were all a little taken back that this mother and baby monkey got so close. And mother monkeys are the worst because they will do anything to protect their baby… but we gave her a little distance and control of the sugar jar and it all turned out okay.

 

It was a really great weekend and I’m so glad we were able to visit while we are still in Zimbabwe. Its crazy here but we are loving every minute of it.

friends on a walk….

I went for a walk today. I wanted to check out a place I saw a few days ago where I thought I could ride horses. Its about a 15 minute walk from the house so I planned to take a walk in the early afternoon to check it out. As I was closing the gate to the house I was greeted by two large German Shepards. Both dogs came straight for me and I greeted them with little to no fear. I mean there are dogs wandering the streets all the time so I didn’t really think anything of it. Most dogs stay out of your way and keep to themselves as they wonder. These two however stayed with me as I began to walk down the street. They were curious in sniffing around and checking out things on and off the street but kept up with my pace. At first I figured that they would wonder off and become interested in something else, but as I turned onto a more main street and they followed I began to wonder.

Between 5 and 10 minutes into my walk I began to notice that both dogs would wait for me to cross the street and checked in on me regularly by coming along side and brushing up against my leg. I continued on walking because I didn’t really know what to do, I mean they are two massive dogs and I wanted to maintain a good relationship with them. I was out numbered and shooing them didn’t seem like a good plan. S0 we continued to walk. I received many looks from people passing by. Its not often that you see a white girl and two large dogs walking down the street together. Each time the dogs would wonder off to sniff something I would think, ok they have gone, but then they both would turn and head back to me. I don’t think they ever got more than 30 feet from me without coming back to check on me.

As we neared my destination I also began to wonder what they would do. I walked through the gate of the equestrian center and along came my two friends. Turns out there is a bar at the equestrian center and at 2:15pm on a Saturday afternoon it is the place to be. There were at least 25-30 men sitting around drinking and socializing. Normally, I would have been a bit intimidated to approach a group like this as a woman by myself, but then again I wasn’t by myself. The three of us walked right up to the group and I asked if there was someone I could talk to about going horseback riding. I wish I could have videoed the response I received. Men stood up and began asking who was in charge and telling others that there is a madam who is looking to ride a horse. I was quickly directed to a man who took me back to the stable to speak with someone else. He asked me on the way if my dogs would bite him. I responded by saying “I don’t think so” and laughing it off. But honestly I had no idea myself. We had to go through another gate and I chose to leave the dogs behind. I turned to them and said stay and walked through the gate. 5 minutes later I returned through the gate and there they both were, waiting for me. And so we walked home together.

As we turned onto my street I saw a man coming toward us. The dogs maintained their pace with me and we met this man on the road a few houses away from mine. Turns out the dogs were his… I told him what happened and we both marveled that his dogs stayed with me the whole time. He thanked me for taking his dogs for a walk and took both dogs home, which happens to be two doors down from my house.

Such a strange encounter, but I can’t say that I wasn’t grateful for the dog’s presents at the equestrian center. I felt like I could go anywhere and do anything with those two by myside. With all the crazy stories to be had who wouldn’t want to come to Zimbabwe!

wintertime and the living is easy…

Its winter in Bulawayo and we are freezing. Its not the normal winter that I’m use to, its a sunny clear skys during the day and wicked cold at night. Its funny cause everyone here says its the coldest winter that they have experienced in a long time. When K and I packed for Zimbabwe we did not really pack super warm clothes. So  we’ve been getting creative about layering clothing and I’ve been knitting up a storm to keep us warm. I’ve knitted K a scarf and myself a hat. I can be down right handy every now and then.

I’ve been told that this is the coldest it gets here. I’m hoping that’s the truth. Its true dessert temps around here which is making me a bit worried about the summer. Its gonna be hot. But enough about the weather. Let me introduce you to the Medair Bulawayo base.

We have work hard play hard policy in the Zimbabwe team. Its been way too cold to play in the pool since we moved here but I intend to put in a lot of pool time later on when the temps allow.

This guy came with the pool. I call him the pool pee-er. At home peeing in a pool is an unforgivable offense, but here you can pee anywhere, the side of the street, parking lots, if you can think of a place to pee you can pee there. All you have to do is turn your back to the place that has the most traffic and you can pee all you want. Peeing in the pool is just another connivence of living here in Zimbabwe.

Here is the backyard. We’ve got a huge avocado tree that is just pumping out avocados and a lovely small veggie patch that K and I are dreaming of making quite the garden. There is also loads of little basil plants all over the yard… its like it was made for me. (Can you see my little crafting area off to the left side of the picture?)

This might be my favorite feature of the Bulawayo house. The Herb Tub! Its full of so many herbs… meals have become so flavorful with all the herbs! I’m in heaven.

So here is our little room for two. Actually its quite spacious and has beautiful sun light. It looks a bit messy but I promise you its so much more organized that it was earlier today. We don’t have any closets so we are working on how to store things.

I’ve been dying to have a reason to use a pallet. And our shoe neatness was the perfect reason (or excuse) to convince K to bring a pallet into our room. It works super great… and even K is pleased with the results.

The room itself it all white, so K and I were trying to figure out a way to bring a bit of color into the room. We bought a blue duvet cover to bring out the blue in the currtins. I’ve also been working on collecting paint chips and I strung them together to make a little banner. I think it turned out well.

I love having to be creative in my crafting. I’ve been spray painting bottles and wrapping them in yarn. I’ve also got big plans for a toilet paper roll wall art. Its gonna be awesome. We are settling in and discovering all the coffee shops and markets in Bulawayo. (there are not many but trust me if they are out there we will find them) We are still waiting for the official go ahead on our rainwater harvesting project, but we are hoping to hear by the first week of July. I know I’ve told you a deadline date before and the date has come and gone without any movement on the project… trust me I know. But we are hopeful that come July we will have funding. And come July I’ll be another year older… 30 really has been quite the year. Who knows that 31 has in store.

large and small adventures…

We survived moving day. Well, just barely. Poor K made it up the driveway to our new house in Bulawayo right before he passed out. Well not literally passed out but he certainly pushed it more than someone with strep-throat should. K slept most of the day on Thursday while I tried my best to direct the movers with the rest of our team. I’m pretty sure he has had a fever for the last several days. If fact funny story. We left Friday for our visa trip to South Africa and normally fly out of the Harare airport to Johannesburg (Joburg). However, now that we are living in Bulawayo we are now flying out of the Bulawayo airport, which is a converted airplane hanger. Needless to say its a very small airport and security is pretty minimal. In fact I left my leathermen in my carry-0n and it was discovered in the x-ray scanner, no big deal I was allowed to take my knife into a room with all the checked luggage and slip it into my bag. Simple.

After than minor knife debacle it was smooth sailing until we landed in Joburg. We dis-embarked (I love that term) the plane and quickly got into the non-African residence line to go through customs. We’ve done this four times now so it’s not really anything we think too much about. However, this month at the front of the line there was a man standing behind this camera asking everyone to take off their glasses to have their faces scanned. No biggie I thought, things are always changing and you just have to roll with the punches. I got scanned no problem. K got scanned and the man politely asked to speak with him in private. Ok… not really that bad right? K came back in line and I inquired as to the conversation the two shared. K looks at me totally serious and says that he needs to go with the man to the airport clinic after he is cleared through customs. The camera which the man was standing behind was a heat sensor camera and it detected that K was running a fever. So in my not-thinking insensitive way I say “Well that sounds exciting.”  Little did I know that K had already gone to defcon 1 (which is the highest deacon, not 5), imagining quarantines and anal probes. His response was not so light hearted.

We were quickly cleared through customs and ushered to the airport clinic. K was directed to fill out some paperwork and then the woman behind the desk took his temperature with an ear thermometer. She acknowledged that he did in fact have a fever and that he was experiencing flu like symptoms, but okayed him free to go. We were in and out of the clinic in 5 minutes and to the luggage carrousel in no time. K turns to me once we were on our own again and says “That was close I was almost quarantined.” I in turn said “I know it was kind of exciting.”

Ah the adventures we have. I’m pretty sure our mom’s are doing some deep breathing exercises right now. Don’t worry Moms we are good. I currently am sitting at our favorite coffee shop in Joburg enjoying a beautiful coconut latte and loving free unlimited wifi. Life is good.

We are going on a big 8 day road trip through Swaziland and down to the coast for snorkeling beginning on Monday, but for now we are resting and loving our king size bed. K is on the mend and I’m loving every adventure large or small.